Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
