standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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