I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
