I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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