Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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