how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize