she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
