I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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