Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize