Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize