I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
