I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
