btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
