I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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