And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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