God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
