i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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