He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
