so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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