i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
