My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize