Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
