Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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