I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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