I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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