Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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