I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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