I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
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also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
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So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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