Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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