She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?