I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex