She said her name was "party"
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative