he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
