You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
