U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
