i think my tv is drunk
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
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Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
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The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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