we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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