I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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