youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
