erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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