It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
