how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
