Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
