I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
