he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize