This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
