She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
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Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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