yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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