you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize