I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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