Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
