Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize