paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have grass duct taped all over my body
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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