if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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