I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
