We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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