Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
