Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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