Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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