I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
