i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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