Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
