so that wasnt chicken after all
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
