every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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