I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize