So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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We had to coat check the pizza.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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